Nashwa Mohammed explores leadership failure and shares practical advice on how to rethink failure not as a problem but as a moment to grow.
What is failure?
When I first thought about writing this article, I was curious to find out what are the formal definitions of the word “fail.” So I grabbed my Oxford dictionary and looked it up and found the following:
Fail: (verb) be unsuccessful in a task or exam, neglect to do, stop working properly, become weaker, let down.
Oxford Dictionary
All these definitions revolve around the same negative concepts: weaknesses, negligence, malfunction, poor performance, deterioration, declination, etc.
But are these the true meanings of failure?
How to Rethink Failure: Think like a Baby, Act like a Grownup.
When babies first start to crawl and walk, they struggle to find the balance between standing still and moving forward.
They fall down countless times and sometimes they even get hurt, but they never get frustrated and quit trying all together. They don’t give up on themselves and perceive their “unsuccessful efforts” as failures. Instead, they just keep on trying and trying until they stand up tall and walk with steady feet.
Yet, how are they able to do that?
Babies are primitive creatures with raw instinct. Their conscious and unconscious minds are still developing. They perceive the world as a simple yet exciting place that is full of adventures and outstanding experiences waiting for them to explore.
When they try something out, they don’t have negative, pre-existing beliefs, assumptions or feelings attached to it. They fearlessly just go for whatever they want to do. When they “fail” to stand up, they hold on to something or someone and try again.
Until one day, after numerous attempts, they become able to independently and firmly ground themselves on the floor, walk and run!
As we get older, this simple way of approaching life gradually starts to change.
We start seeing the world from others’ perspectives and according to others’ point of views; like: parents, extended families, local community, society, and even the entire world. We become programmed to believe that failure is a stigma rather that a step toward success.
So, the next time you fail at something –and trust me, you will- remember to adopt babies’ perspective, get back up, ask for help and try again.
How to Rethink Failure: Rejections are Redirections.
Why do we feel so bad when we fail at doing something?
Well, experts explained that the horrible feelings we experience are not really related to the experience itself rather to what our mindset is and how we think of and interpret the unsuccessful attempts. If someone considers every single failure they encounter as a personal defect and blame themselves for their lack of knowledge, skills, and intelligence, their self esteem and confidence will be severely impacted.
On the other hand, people who perceive failure as a learning opportunity and take advantage of the event to gain new skills will ultimately grow, obtain new experiences and develop their capabilities and potentials. Such individuals view failure as what experts call a productive failure, a concept that entails learning through making mistakes.
It is the mindset adopted by the greatest leaders and inventors around the world; they are patient and resilient, they interpret failures as challenges to be conquered, and view them as roadmap instructions to guide them to reach their ultimate goals.
Low Battery? Activate Low Power Mode.
Ok, now we know that failure is not necessarily as bad as we thought it is.
It is easy to digest this when we are just talking hypothetically. Yet, what should we do when we are in the middle of the storm? It’s very tricky to maintain that positive mindset whilst we are currently living in a failed experience.
So, what should we do right after we fail? When you do your best at something and you don’t get the desired outcomes. Firstly you need to appreciate the effort and energy you invested in that experience.
Secondly, and most importantly, do absolutely nothing! In other words, don’t jump right back to your “to do list“ and start your next big project. You need to give yourself the time and the space to recover mentally and physically, to rationalize your thoughts and process your emotions.
If you don’t allow yourself to pause, most probably you will take irrational decisions which will lead you to other failures and expose yourself to avoidable burdens and burnouts! Pause, let your negative feelings out, whether through journaling, painting, mediating, exercising, talking to a close friend or whatever you find convenient as long as it’s a healthy coping mechanism.
How to Rethink Failure: Make it Your Moment.
After that, evaluate your previous experience, identify the weaknesses, what could you’ve done better, summarize what you’ve learned, believe in yourself and get ready for your next adventure!
Lastly, make this quote your own personal motto:
“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it!
Oprah Winfrey
