Online and Under the Bridge. How to Handle Trolls

Perry Maddox explores the difference between critics and trolls, sharing advice on what to do when the online trolls come for you.

I’m surprised I made it this far.

As you know, I try to practice leadership in the open.

So I share openly, candidly and vulnerably as a leader.  Posting blogs for all to see, most of my social channels are  public.  I’m not hard to find on Google, either.

That’s the point.

So in many ways, I’m lucky not to have dealt with trolls before.

Insert Angry Troll Comment Here.

I recently had my first experience with trolls.

Not fun.

Over several weeks on multiple channels, both public and private, a few people attacked me in a very personal way.  Why somebody would attack another, whom they have never met nor bothered to contact, is beyond me. But nobody said being a leader is easy.

Still, it feels terrible to see your name drug unfairly through the mud in front of colleagues, friends and family.  I was sad and stressed for days.

So I reached out to the pros in my community for advice.  They didn’t disappoint.

Know the Difference Between Trolls and Critics.

First things first, not all negative comments come from trolls.

Living life in public means opening ourselves to people who disagree with us or who critique our work.

That’s part of the deal.

Over time, I’ve learned to welcome every email that comes into the whistleblowing inbox, every complaint relating to our work, and every challenge to improve.

When feedback is well intentioned – to solve a problem, to raise an important issue, or to improve what we do – the person making that comment is no troll.  They’re one of your best friends, because such feedback helps us to grow and to improve.

Welcome this feedback with open arms.

A troll, on the other hand, isn’t out to help.  Trolls are easy to spot, trying to make you angry, making it personal, acting entitled and exaggerating.

Rather than a resolution, they’re looking for a fight, plain and simple.

They’re out to harm.

So How Do You Handle Trolls?

When I asked my community, plus a few PR, digital and crisis communications pros, three core themes emerged:

• Don’t Feed Trolls. The most common advice by a long shot, with good reason.  Tempting as it may be, the best advice is not to engage. Generally speaking, no matter how helpful, positive or respectful your reply is, it won’t work.  Trolls are looking for a fight. Don’t give it to them. Either ignore them or block, report and move on.
• Put it in Perspective.  A brilliant digital activist shared that they remind themselves that not everyone out there is going to agree with their work, connect with them personally, or even like them. Another encouraged me to keep my chin up and, remembering that we can’t please every one, to just move on.  Step back and put a few angry voices in perspective alongside the many people who support you.
• Take the High Road.  Perhaps the most powerful advice was to reframe the trolls themselves. One colleague noted that people who behave this way are probably deeply unhappy and deserve compassion, if not outright pity. Another observed that people who spend their time trolling are sadly ignoring the important things in life. Extending forgiveness in our own minds is an important step toward healing.

Draw the Line with Trolls.  

The steps above work for individuals, but when trolls attack an organization, a different approach is required:

• Ignoring trolls rarely works for organizations, as other people will see the attacks playing out one-sidedly online. Deleting their comments incenses trolls, further fuelling their anger.
• True critics will usually be happy to take the conversation offline into a meeting where their concerns can be explored in depth and with accountability.  Trolls rarely want to take that step, as they primarily want a public fight and fear true resolution.

If your organization is dealing with an abusive troll, the best approach is to create or to share your social media policy that governs rules for behaviour in these spaces. From there:

• If the troll then breaks the rules, you then have transparent and fair grounds to remove them and their content.
• If they begin to engage in a decent manner, you’re one step closer to a meaningful conversation.

A helpful breakdown of how to handle trolls from a organizational perspective is here.

Remember, Trolls Live Under Bridges.

In fairy tales, trolls usually live under the bridge.

So rather than pausing on top of that bridge, keep on walking. Don’t stop to feed their anger. If anything pity it.  Above all, try to transcend the hate, and if you can summon it, forgive them.

Then walk on by and never look back.

Life is too short to spend time on trolls, even if you’ve made this far without meeting one.