Perry Maddox explores how to avoid conflict at work, identifying when avoidance is best and explaining how to execute this conflict strategy.
I grew up playing a lot of sports.
Not terribly well, mind you, but sports were a big part of my youth. Unsurprisingly, sports shaped a fair bit of how I came to understand leadership.
Sometimes this was for the better, learning about teamwork, leading peers, how to lose, and the accruing value of hard work over time.
Sometimes the lessons from sports were for the worse, rewarding competitiveness, a brutal results focus, and being rewarded for not backing down.
Not backing down is fine in a game, but it’s a terrible way to approach work, life or leadership.
Know When to Avoid Conflict at Work.
Wait a second, you might ask. Am I really advising you to avoid conflict at work?
Yes. Not every conflict is worth it.
Sometimes it’s best to simply walk away, and the best leaders know when to engage versus when to avoid conflict at work.
If you find yourself in a conflict, thinking or saying the following:
- “I don’t want to deal with this”
- “It’s not a big deal”
- “It’s not worth the trouble”
… then you should consider avoidance.
Assess the Conflict First.
Conflict happens, but not all conflict is the same.
First take time to assess the conflict at work. Avoidance doesn’t work in many conflicts, so check first, asking:
- Is this minor, low priority or unimportant?
- Does somebody needs to cool down or slow down?
- Is this a situation where you cannot make a difference, but don’t want to go along with it actively?
If so, this may be a conflict to sit out.
On the other hand, avoidance is a terrible response when:
- The issue is important
- Someone’s wellbeing is at stake
- Your absence would derail resolution
- Pent-up emotion could lead to harm or outbursts down the line
- The relationship is important
In these cases, consider other conflict styles like collaboration, compromise or even competition.
Avoid Conflict at Work like a Turtle.
Once you’ve identified this conflict as one to avoid, take a lesson from a terrapin.
Like a turtle slips its head back into its shell, you can use similar approaches to avoid conflict at work:
- Withdraw from the situation
- Stay neutral
- Stall or delay
- Ignore it
At the end of the day, remember that there are many ways to approach conflict at work. Sometimes avoidance is the way to go, like for the minor irritants of work that arise every day.
Imagine if you went full-in on every problem, every conflict or every dispute at work. Worse yet, imagine doing that in life. Exhausting to say the least, and don’t expect to keep many friends, either.
Avoidance shouldn’t be a dirty word. It’s ok to avoid the right conflicts. Avoidance is often the mark of a wise leader.
But avoiding something important? Forget it.
Kind of like my sports career.
